V-Day Recovery

The vasectomy went very well, thanks for asking. But it's a very surreal half hour of your life. One minute you're having a small bowl of cereal, glancing at the newspaper, and helping the kids get ready for school, the next you're laid out on a table, naked from the waist down, and iodine is being applied with vigor to you-know-where.

The actual prodecure takes about 15 minutes, tops. The Doc comes in, makes some small talk and starts right in: a shot to numb up one side, an incision, the vas defrens is pulled out and snipped through, the ends are cauterized (which does not smell so lovely), and then stitches. Repeat on the other side and thank you very much for coming in, Mr. White, the nurse will give you some parting instructions.

And then, because you're still numb, it's okay to drive yourself home. I didn't start feeling it until I was well into my first vasectomy recovery movie, Shane. It's like being kneed in the "groinal region" except that dull, aching pain stays with you. The bag of frozen pees helps, as does the ibuprofen.

I will be taking advantage of the doctor's orders to "take it easy for 2-3 days" and will be watching movies and reading books in bed.

Except for the dull ache, this isn't a bad existence. In fact, if you're looking for a solid 48 hours in which to watch The Lord of the Rings trilogy, or get through a season of The Office, a vasectomy might just be for you.

Unless you're female.