10/17/03

I was dreaming last night about the character of God. God is holy and mysteriously Other and, at the same time, God is friend and comrade in Christ. I was dreaming/thinking that most Xians (at least I do) tend to hold up God as best friend in Jesus, first and foremost (the "Buddy Jesus" of the movie Dogma comes to mind). God, in X, is my traveling companion, my drinking buddy, someone to do life with. But this God who rides shotgun in my life is also, ultimately, a Mystery; a God who is too big to fit in my car; a God that suffers and dies and asks me to follow; a God that, if I could truly see him, would render me unable to drive.

I don't know this holy, awe-inspiring God very well. Maybe it's because I want to put God in a frame, hang him up on a wall, and look at him on my own terms. But God defies figuring out. I've grown increasingly at ease with ambiguity in my journey of faith and I think I'm at ease with this as well. But it's not so much a question of feeling comfortable with this side of God as it is ignoring it and focusing on God exclusively as good friend.

Almighty God, please expand my knowledge and understanding of you. Forgive me for trying to reign you in and define you in ways that are less threatening to me. Open me to your mystery and blaze in my life.