For those just tuning in I am attempting a 30-day cleanse of my body by eating, as my Yoda Michelle calls it, "clean", and taking some supplements and drinking some muddy, sawdust water.
Eating clean means no processed foods, no canned foods, no refined sugars, no alcohol, blah, blah, blah. Basically most things that taste good I cannot have. It's been a major adjustment but here I am at the end of week one.
Some things I've learned:
1. Ice is overrated. Yoda told me early on that drinking really cold beverages is actually considered bad for the body. Apparently it shocks the system or something. I thought I would miss this but lukewarm water turns out to be okay.
2. I was (am?) totally addicted to snack foods. I am still jonesing for chips and cookies and the like, some days and times worse than others.
3. My hair is less oily.
4. I'm stubborn. I think it's stubbornness rather than willpower that has kept me on track. I started this thing and I'm going to see it through. This is probably the personality trait that allowed me to complete a marathon. Pride?
5. Losing 8 lbs in one week does not make much of an impact on one's flabby belly.
6. Nuts are no substitute for chips but cashews and almonds are still plenty good to munch on--in moderation.
7. I really love onions and garlic and bell peppers stir fried up with some chicken and seasonings. I could eat this almost every day, cleanse or not. And I have.
8. I can chug a glass of colon-cleanse sludge in roughly 10 seconds. This entertains/horrifies my kids to no end.
9. Going to parties or out to eat with other people is self-torture. It's like a dog purposely sitting in a room of cats when the dog knows he cannot chase any of them. There's a lot of whining.
10. Honey is to the cleanse what a 7-iron is to golf. It can be used in most any situation and you don't want to take you bag anywhere without it.
Finally, I faced a little bit of a dilemma with communion this morning at church. We had Hawaiian sweet bread and grape juice, both of which I'm sure are not "clean." But I'm not saying no to God's extended grace, symbolic or not.
It was the best-tasting sacrament ever.
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3 comments:
So I came on over on the recommendation of your wife...and glad I did. My hubby did a 21-day cleanse a year ago, and survived to tell about it. Overall, not too bad and he really felt different afterwards--better digestion, less skin issues. So good luck to you, and keep the funny commentary rolling! Loved the reflections on communion.
I went to high school youth group with your wife and I'm happy to say that you are quite funny and I'm happy that she lives in such a humorous environment.
ME
Thanks Lisa and Anonymous. Lisa, why did he choose 21 days? Was three weeks enough? I'm shooting for 30 but there is no guarantee that I won't chicken out (or would that be red meat out?) and end this thing early.
This blog keeps me accountable...
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